Self reflection?

 A lot has happened in the past month and a half, my best friend moved to another city, final exams are over and I might get a boyfriend. Yeah, I’m shocked too from reading that.

Also, it’s been a while, I tell myself that I am going to write a blog post every week but it’s tough when there is nothing interesting or “blog-worthy” happening like what am I supposed to write about? 

“So, guys, today my parents scolded me again, did homework and cried myself to sleep.” If I were reading that, I’d die of boredom. Anyways onto to the main point. 

Final exams ended two days ago, and holidays are out! I am officially over with ninth grade and I really appreciate everything my class offered; I found a lot of new friends, new experiences and a lot of fond memories to look back to! One of my close friends, Kruthi moved out of Pune to Hyderabad due to her father’s job. It was pretty heart wrenching but it would be very selfish for me to just keep her here. 

To everyone out there wishing that your loved ones always be there with you, that is not real love. Love is when you look at the other persons needs and interests over yours, that is if I begged my friend to stay, that is not because of the love I have but rather my selfishness. Love is letting someone go, not in a bad way. Just making sure they achieve the world even if that means moving away for a while.

Speaking of love, Valentine’s Day this year was a little different for me. Usually, I just bake red velvet cupcakes with Kai and eat them myself in the corner of my room sulking over the pictures and stories my couple friends post on social media but this year, someone asked me out! 
I was doing my own thing that evening and I got a call from my friends to come down, I thought nothing of it and went down. 
Down, they told me to go inside a parking lot and to be honest I was super scared since I thought it was a snake but it was my friend, Aiden sitting there. He handed me a rose and a fuse chocolate and asked me out on a date. 

When I came out, our friends started hyping us up asking if we were official. I was pretty overwhelmed and that situation was just a blur for me but I remember being so happy that day. I told Kruthi about it, and came home grinning. I told my parents and they told my grandma. She was so happy for me!

And lately, me and Aiden have been hanging out, he’s a very sweet person. And I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me but I don’t think I have feelings for him in a romantic manner. He’s been nothing but the sweetest thing to me, he’s considerate and hangs out a lot, asks for my timing and looks out for me but I just can’t help it. Maybe. Like I’ve been yearning for a boyfriend for so long and now that the opportunity is here, I don’t know what to do. 
I asked a few friends and some told me that it’s too soon to decide if I like him or no, and I’m planning of giving myself more time. But man, I just feel terrible.

Maybe I only liked the idea of having a boyfriend from social media and the multiple videos everyone posts of them with their partners but reality is different. It’s realistic.
I really don’t want to lead Aiden on but I don’t want to break his heart either. I’m honestly in a pickle.

Anyways, thank you for hearing my rant. This got a little personal lol. There’s no conclusion in this post because I really don’t know if there is one.

I hope you have a good day/night! 
-Sahana