Thoughts Iteration: 1

 1. Okay so there’s this song named Farq hai that I’ve been listening to on repeat these past few days. It basically talks about the differences in any human bond, whether it be friendship or a relationship. 

It dives deep into the complexities of human nature, emphasising each person’s uniqueness that are sometimes challenging, but it looks at the beautiful aspects of coexisting with inherent distinctions. 

The lyrics are a poignant expression of the distinctions and disparities that can arise between two individuals, even in the closest of bonds

And there’s this particular set of lines that stirs my heart; 

हम तुम अलग हैं 

(You and I are different)

फर्क है फर्क है फर्क है

(There is a difference) 

मैं बेरंग तू चमक है

(I am colourless, you are shining)

फर्क है फर्क है फर्क है

(There is a difference) 

And there are two sides of the coin here, you can either look at the optimistic side, where even though, with these many distinctions, people are still together, be it in any bond. People aren’t letting these differences come between their relationships. 

Or the ominous side being that what if, just what if you are letting your colourlessness affect your partners gleam?

What if you are limiting them, shouldn’t they too deserve someone, who is gleaming like them? Because surely, you and your partner are different and maybe you guys might work out right now, but what about in the long term? Just what if, you might want someone who is similar to you, someone with your interests instead of someone who isn't, because no matter what, you can't force your interests...

2. Recently, I’ve been in a dark cloud. Life has been tough on me and maybe, I’ve been a little too hard on myself. Something just switched around two weeks ago and suddenly, I was sorrowful Sahana, there just wasn’t something I could do about it. It felt the same as if doctor told me I couldn’t bear children, I want to but I physically could not. 

My counselor joked that for that period, it looked like I was walking under a dark cloud 😭😭

But it took a simple act of me almost getting kidnapped to get me out of my senses. 

It’s a heavy sentence to process, I know. I was walking beside my house to get bread, and saw two men holding hands just come towards me from the opposite direction. When I tried to walk a bit away from them, they just extended their hands and sort of came towards me. Needless to say, I took a 180° and just ran from there. 

I’m still in denial that this thing happened to me but I’m a 100% sure that if they did get me on that dusty evening, I wouldn’t be alive or even functioning right now. 

And it just makes me wonder, what if, just what if I did get kidnapped that day?  And it just made me rethink my life. I don’t know how long I’ll live and I really want to make the most of it because what if this is the last day of my life? I wouldn’t want to spend it in rue.

You never really know what tomorrow holds for you, or if there is even a tomorrow? You never really take quotes such as—“Live everyday as if it’s your last” seriously until you yourself experience tragic events or face death as such. 

I don’t know what those monstrous men wanted to do with me and honestly, I don’t want to. I’m grateful that I woke up today and I’m very glad and happy to know that I’m alive and well. I’m grateful for all the wonderful things that happened to me. 

A lot of people might take this incident of mine as a huge thing, which it is, in a pessimistic or negative way but I believe life is too short to wonder about the what ifs and this small event has taught me a lot than an hour video about savouring life ever will. People believe that epiphanies only come with a huge act or event but that needn’t be the case. You can realise huge life concepts and accept matters even during the negligible act of sitting on the toilet or walking your dog. 

Cognisance need not be prodigious act, for it is an everyday part of life. 

I’m almost 3/4 through tenth grade and it’s more exhausting than ever. Please bear with me as I complete it and post more thought-provoking and humorous descriptions of my very non-interesting life. Thanks for sticking around. Cheers! 🤗

I hope you have a wonderful day/night ahead! 

-Sahana