A world of two

The world is made for two people, there’s even a song about it that I just found out about, now. Two people sit at a bench, two people get married, two people are soulmates, pairs can date unless you’re into those polyamory things🤥🤥. There are two sexes but you get my point; The world just favours two, maybe because it’s a cool number, I don’t know. 

But the world clearly doesn’t favour three people, three people sit in an airplane aisle? What else?

Duos are much simpler to navigate, you know what the other person wants, you both have each others back but with trios, it just feels like an extra person is added and just third wheeling you and your friend. 

In a duo, it is usually understood what is going to be allowed, expected, or desired to make specific decisions. A protocol is established, and if it is agreeable to each person, stability is achieved. In case of a dispute, compromise is easier to reach and agreements are faster. 

In a trio, there arises the possibility that “let’s just do what we like and leave out this person whom we disagree with” then our little group will be much better without a person who doesn’t fit in.

Trios are much more challenging and difficult, in that sense, to navigate through, because in a duo, when your friend is feeling insecure you can just be like “Sahana, you are my only one, don’t worry” They are much easier, the answer is obvious.

Whereas in trios, you cannot just say you prefer one over the other. Friendship trios never work; Well, they do but that is when everyone is mature and is independent and I don’t think anyone around me has come into that stage yet. Trios are mostly just two people who already have a bond and a third person, like a carry one. 

There is a high possibly that over time, one person might find themselves isolate from the group while the other two bond and connect. It is so easy to make them feel left out and excluded and maybe that’s just me being childish, I don’t know.

Trios haven’t been the best friendships for me. 

In fourth grade, I was in two. Hit two stones with one mango! Group 1 and group 2 already had two people in them and they were much more connected than I was with them so it was just me bouncing between 1 and 2. I don’t have much memories about it but I knew that I hated being excluded from the main things that happened. I felt the need to be wanted by both groups but never did in either.

In ninth grade, the same problem came before me. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about my friends at school here but there’s lake and bird. They are great friends of mine and marvellous people, but personally, I don’t think our trio ever worked. 

From the start, lake and bird were close. They were from the same state, they both knew the same language, they shared food, I don’t know but they were much closer. I didn’t really mind it much at first but as we started hanging out together, I started seeing how this separation took place between me and them.  It was common for them to talk in that language, while I didn’t know a single thing about it. I asked them to translate it for me but they would just shrug me off or tell me to learn that language. They would always send each pictures or casual texts but it was never in our group that we shared.

I felt so excluded. I never liked our trio.

And when I tried to put this thought on the table, they never listened. It soon, became as if my feelings and thoughts would not matter and suddenly, theirs did. And I just felt so small in that friendship. It was so common for them to get angry at me, and I always felt like I couldn’t be honest with them or either individually with them since they always had the other. It felt like I was the only one messing up everything and maybe I’m not mature enough to just let it go but fine. It hurts a lot when people who are supposed to cheer you up and make your day better are the ones who disregard you. It’s hard, digesting something you have been avoiding, and I don’t know how to take it. 

Future me here, and things didn’t go the magical route. Lake and I cut ties. I don’t wish to say horrible things but I believe that we were too different to be friends and too immature to be understanding of each other. And bird, well, she’s still friends with me and lake. And I hugely believe that a person who is friends with everyone is friends with no one. 

There’s no clear cut conclusion from this small anecdote, but just that there will be times where you’ll try so hard to fit into something but deep down, know that things wouldn’t work out. So embrace it, it’s fine not being friends with a group of horrid humans. There will always be rotten apples in a bunch. 

I still sometimes yearn the days where all of us were friends and laughing but I know that this is for the better, I choose to live in peace everyday instead of fussing and fighting about the pettiest of disagreements and crying over it. 

Thanks for sticking till the end! 

Have a great day/night ahead! 

-Sahana